TOP 10 Funny Marriage Jokes

TOP 10 Funny Marriage Jokes - Featured from user submissions at www.jokefarm.com

www.JokeFarm.com has tons of wife jokes, marriage jokes, jokes about marriage, husband jokes, marriages-jokes, jokes of marriage and jokes for marriage.
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Here are the top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes in no specific order:

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #1
Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love? "
 Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/wife-ever-callout-name-when-making.html




Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #2
Marriage can be a joke. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she sighed
"He's my old boyfriend,.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-were-sitting-table-high-school.html




Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #3
Just like our marriage, our lawn mower broke. The damn thing wouldn't run and my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day I found my wife seated in the tall grass busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute and
when I came out again I handed my wife a toothbrush. I said "When you finish cutting the grass you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again but I will always have a limp. At least it was a funny wife joke

http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/when-lawn-mower-broke-wouldn-wife.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #4
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-hinting-about-what-wanted-upcoming.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #5
 My wife sent me shopping today. She told me to buy something that made her look sexy. So I came back home with 2 liters of vodka & a case of beer.
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/wife-sent-shopping-today-told-something.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #6
 After retiring I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...

 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/after-retiring-went-social-security-office.html
  
Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #7
Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'  
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/keep-your-husband-from-reading-mail.html
 
 Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #8
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife  
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/noticed-that-credit-card-been-stolen.html 

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #9
My wife was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me
"I feel horrible; I look old fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied "Your eyesight's near perfect."

And then the fight started....... 

 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-standing-nude-looking-bedroom-mirror.html





Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #10
A fifty-six year old man is sleeping with a twenty-two year old girl.
His close friend says to him, Hey, can't that be fatal?"
The fifty-six year old replies, "Only if my wife finds out"
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/08/26/fifty-year-sleeping-with-twenty-girl.html

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