Saturday, November 27, 2010

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES - FOR JUSTIN BIEBER FANS!

FOR JUSTIN BIEBER FANS - TWEET THIS BLOG OR POST ON FACEBOOK TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!!!!
 Justin Bieber Life-Size Standup Poster , 25x70 Justin Bieber (Get the Scoop)Justin Bieber 2011 Mini Wall Calendar

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES - FOR JUSTIN BIEBER FANS!
(Most of these jokes are originals from the Celebrity Joke section of www.jokefarm.com.  Visit www.jokefarm.com for funny jokes, videos, pictures and free games)

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #1
Q: What is Canada most famous for being the home of?
A: The Canadian Bieber
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/09/23/what-canada-most-famous-being-home.html

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #2

Justin Bieber is so HOT he causes global warming!

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #3
Justin Bieber is so HOT it takes 5 million twitter FANS just to cool him off! 
 
TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #4
Justin Bieber is so HOT in causing girls and some guys to fantasize, they dropped the word Masturbation from the dictionary and replaced it with Masterbieber 
 
TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #5
Justin Bieber so HOT he can melt an ice cube with his breath...when he is in Toronto and the ice cube is in Vancouver

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #6
Q: What infects both a mother and her daughters, causes flushing, dizziness, delusion, and anxiety, and can not be cured?
A: Bieber Fever!

TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #7
Justin Bieber is so HOT the SUN draws its energy from him
 
TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #8
Justin Bieber is so POPULAR even GOD is a 'BELIEBER'
 
TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #9
Justin Bieber is so HOT the only time it is now "Hot in Miami" is when Justin is there
 
TOP 10 JUSTIN BIEBER JOKES #10
Justin Bieber is so POPULAR he makes Snooki's fame seem like a snowflake on a hot summer day
 
 Bonus:  Video of Justin Bieber's Hawaii Concert Soundcheck
 
 
Set of 8 Justin Bieber Pinback Buttons 1.25" Pins SingerBravado Junior's Justin Bieber Cross Women'S T-Shirt,Black,Medium
 
FOR JUSTIN BIEBER FANS - TWEET THIS BLOG OR POST ON FACEBOOK TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!!!!
Think you can come up with more Justin Bieber is so HOT.... or Justin Bieber is so POPULAR.... jokes, then enter them in the comments or submit them on www.jokefarm.com to share with the world.
 
NOT A JUSTIN BIEBER FAN - We want your jokes and comments too!    Don't be shy and enter them in the comments or submit them on www.jokefarm.com

Friday, November 26, 2010

Top 10 Things that lawyer say that sound like Porn

Top 10 Things that lawyer say that sound like Porn

1. Have you looked through her briefs?
2. He's one hard judge!
3. Counselor let's do it in chambers!
4. His attorney withdrew at the last minute!
5. Is it a penal offense?
6. Better leave the handcuffs on
7. For $200 an hour she better be good!
8. Can you get him to drop his suit?
9. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could!
10. Think you can get me off

If you know anymore....type them in the comments

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes - Featured from user submissions at www.jokefarm.com

www.JokeFarm.com has tons of jokes, including funny thanksgiving jokes and black friday jokes.  If you know a funny joke, submit it at JokeFarm!!!  We need the laughs!
_________________________________________________
Just in time for the Holidays, here are the TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes in no specific order:
 
 TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #1
Just before Thanksgiving, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is weather report that you should email,tweet, or skype to your Mom.

This Thursday Turkeys will thaw in the morning then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid and if you bother the cook be ready for a severe
squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be
expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/23/thanksgiving-rush-have-received-early-weather.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #2
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/23/knock-there-arthur-leftovers-funny-thanksgiving.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #3
Two Cannibals are having Thanksgiving Dinner...
One turns to the other and says: "You know I just can't stand my mother-in-law."
The other replies: "Then try the mash potatoes." 
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/23/cannibals-having-thanksgiving-dinner-turns-other.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #4
Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/they-turkey-join-band-because-drumsticks.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #5
It was just after Black Friday following Thanksgiving in a local county courthouse where a judge was questioning a stupid looking prisoner.

He asked the prisoner who was in the dock 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner wise cracked 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early'.
'That's no crime' said the judge. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened' answered the prisoner with a silly grin.
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/just-after-black-friday-following-thanksgiving.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #6
You know you're American when you line up at 3am on Black Friday so that you can save $5 at Walmart!
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/know-american-when-line-black-friday.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #7
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/police-arrest-turkey-they-suspected-fowl.html


TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #8
Why do turkeys always go "gobble gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/turkeys-always-gobble-because-they-never.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #9
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/18/turkey-cross-road-chicken-thanksgiving-jokes.html

TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Joke #10
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen Flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes
Pickles and carrots beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round
Till all of a sudden I rose off the ground !!

I crashed through the ceiling. Floating into the sky.
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees

HAPPY EATING TO ALL !!

PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE !!
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/23/twas-night-thanksgiving-just-couldn-sleep.html
__________________________________________
 Hope you enjoyed the TOP 10 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes from www.jokefarm.com.   If you know any other funny jokes, submit them at JokeFarm....we need the laughs!!!   Visit www.jokefarm.com for your dose of daily jokes.

Interested in Products related to Thanksgiving Black Friday, here are a few links to explore:

Haier HLT71 7-Inch Handheld LCD TV 
  Belkin F5L001-BLK Laptop Cooling Pad (Black) 
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JBuds J2 Premium Hi-Fi Noise-Isolating Earbuds (Onyx Black)
 Trurev Hockey & Gear Skatebag/ Backpack- Awarded Great Gear of the Year- Best Seller on Amazon
 Girls ONLY soft Felt Material Valvet-Like Luxury Feel Micro-Fiber Pink Sleeve Case Cover Purse Bag for AT&T Sprint T-Mobile Verizon Unlocked  Android Tablet Samsung Galaxy Tab -- Best Seller on Amazon!
  -- Pink High Quality Mini Hard-Shell Carrying Case for Olympus Stylus 7010 Digital Camera {+ 1pc name tag} -- Best Seller on Amazon!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

TOP 10 Funny Marriage Jokes

TOP 10 Funny Marriage Jokes - Featured from user submissions at www.jokefarm.com

www.JokeFarm.com has tons of wife jokes, marriage jokes, jokes about marriage, husband jokes, marriages-jokes, jokes of marriage and jokes for marriage.
_________________________________________________
Here are the top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes in no specific order:

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #1
Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love? "
 Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/wife-ever-callout-name-when-making.html

MY WIFE SAID HER OR DOG Warning Sign man marriage gag


Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #2
Marriage can be a joke. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she sighed
"He's my old boyfriend,.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-were-sitting-table-high-school.html




Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #3
Just like our marriage, our lawn mower broke. The damn thing wouldn't run and my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day I found my wife seated in the tall grass busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute and
when I came out again I handed my wife a toothbrush. I said "When you finish cutting the grass you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again but I will always have a limp. At least it was a funny wife joke

http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/when-lawn-mower-broke-wouldn-wife.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #4
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......MARRIAGE INTERRUPTED TO PLAY GOLF Warning Sign golf
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-hinting-about-what-wanted-upcoming.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #5
 My wife sent me shopping today. She told me to buy something that made her look sexy. So I came back home with 2 liters of vodka & a case of beer.
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/wife-sent-shopping-today-told-something.html

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #6
 After retiring I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'
And then the fight started...

 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/after-retiring-went-social-security-office.html
  
Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #7
Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'  
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/keep-your-husband-from-reading-mail.html
 MY WIFE SAID HER OR DOG Warning Sign man marriage gag
 Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #8
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife  
http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/10/13/noticed-that-credit-card-been-stolen.html 

Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #9
My wife was standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me
"I feel horrible; I look old fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied "Your eyesight's near perfect."

And then the fight started....... 

 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/11/14/wife-standing-nude-looking-bedroom-mirror.html





Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes #10
A fifty-six year old man is sleeping with a twenty-two year old girl.
His close friend says to him, Hey, can't that be fatal?"
The fifty-six year old replies, "Only if my wife finds out"
 http://www.jokefarm.com/joke/2010/08/26/fifty-year-sleeping-with-twenty-girl.html

__________________________________________
 Hope you enjoyed the Top 10 Funny Marriage Jokes from www.jokefarm.com.   If you know any other funny marriage jokes, submit them at JokeFarm....we need the laughs!!!   Visit www.jokefarm.com for your dose of daily jokes.

Interested in Products related to Marriage Jokes, here are a few links to explore:
The Marriage Proposal: A Joke in One Act
Jokes About Marriage, The Six-Day War, Modern Warfare (Performed Live On The Ed Sullivan 
Show/1968)
Why Married - Damn Funny TalkBubbles Marriage Greeting Card
The World's Best Marriage Jokes (World's best jokes)
Happy Wife Happy Life
 Take My Wife 523 Jokes, Riddles, Quips, Quotes and Wisecracks About Love, Marriage, and the Battle of the Sexes
Marriage: It Drives Us Crazy (Drive Us Crazy!)

Funny Joke about Black Friday - Shopping Early for Christmans

Funny Joke about Black Friday - Shopping Early for Christmas

It was just after Black Friday following Thanksgiving in a local county courthouse where a judge was questioning a stupid looking prisoner.

He asked the prisoner who was in the dock 'What are you charged with?'

Read more at http://t.co/m3N8Ort


Great Black Friday Deals

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Friday, November 19, 2010

Funny psychiatrist about a blond gathering

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me Doctor" she asked "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"


Read more at...
RT Joke A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering and his host... #comedy #funny #humor

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

An Idiots Guide to Investment Terminology ? The Funny side to banking

An Idiots Guide to Investment Terminology

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $37.50 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.95.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke."

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where in theory a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory a short position is what a person usually ends up being in. (i.e. "The rent sir? Ha. Ha. Ha. Well I'm a little short this month.")

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to wake money on the stock market which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK: What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.


More at www.jokefarm.com